• sarah scarratt

Accepting what is ...

One of the coaching tools I use is Karpman's Drama Triangle. Faced with a certain situation, some people might feel sorry for themselves, others might get angry about it, and others might run around trying to solve everyone else's problems ... And these different ways we react can be quite draining or destructive, especially repeated over time. I've recently noticed that I'm a bit stuck on the Drama Triangle myself. This whole Brexit situation: we didn't get to vote and yet it's having a real impact on my identity as a European citizen and I'm aware that I am feeling like a victim in all this AND quite cross with everybody who made it happen. Same with the "Bridge at the end of the campsite" shenanigens: decisions were taken without our knowledge, input, opinion etc and they're having a big impact on our day-to-day access to the campsite, acting as a physical and psychological barrier to us getting things done. We're also becoming increasingly frustrated by the lack of reliable tradespeople in the area: so many projects we want to get done and can't. Which is making me quite fed-up and annoyed and ... sorry for myself. So now what? Having noticed how I'm feeling, what can I do about it? Most of these things, I can't actually do anything about. I can phone the builder, the pool guy and the roofer but I can't make them do the work. But what I can do is change how I react to it all. It reminds me of that Reinhold Niebuhr quote: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Wise words to keep me on track this month!


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